Chris's parenthood disaster
by Wandering to her doom
Summary: Chris dun goofed up and got every female who's ever been on the show pregnant! Now with lawyers and angry baby mamas hot in his pursuit, he must visit all mothers and settle things... Sort of... It is Chris after all.
1. Wrap it before you tap it

Yeah I don't even know anymore guys... I'm free styling this fic and I'm sick and bored _ ChrisX every girl on total drama...enjoy I do not own anything.

Chris laid back and let out a relaxing sigh as he felt the jets if his hot tub massage his back. Being the most famous TV host on the world (And most good looking) wasn't easy, he had to tell insults at his interns, count his money and look in the mirror at his beautiful face for hours. So who's to say he couldn't relax with in a hot tub while he drank over priced wine and watched all the terrible movies he had been in.

He took a sip of wine and sank deeper into the hot tub, soaking his cares away. But of course Chris being Chris the gods of karma he was bound to dun fuck up at some point.

And boy did he dun fuck up.

"Chris!" Hollered Chef dashing into the room.

"Jesus, learn to knock!" Chris snapped as Chef glared.

"Trust me, seeing you butt naked is the last thing I want to see." The cook replied.

"Yeah, whatever just skip to the part where you leave." Chris scoffed taking another sip of over priced wine.

"Have you been answering your calls?" He asked. The host crossed his arms, clearly not please Chef had interrupted his "me time".

"My phone's been ringing off the hook all day, It's a pain really, I should change my ringtone it's getting annoying."

"Chris, do you know why these people ate calling!?" Chef asked again.

The black haired host's face shifted to confusion, normally if Courtney's lawyers called they would just let it go to voice mail, again and again and again. Why would this be any different?

Chris's eyes lit up with delight, it all made sense to him now...or so he though. "I finally won the world's best looking host award?!" He asked in shock a smile on his face. Oh he couldn't wait to post about this on Facebook. "Chef, my laptop quick! I must spam this on Facebook!"

"What?" Chef shook his head. "You mean you really don't know?"

"What do you mean?" The host asked.

"You dun fucked up."

"What do you mean?"

"Those phone calls are from every female camper on the show, and their angry parents and lawyers." Chef explained.

Chris shrugged. "So? That's nothing new."

"Chris, all those campers, parents and lawyers ate calling because you slept with every woman who's been on the show." Chef said then though about it. "Not really surprising since it is YOU after all, you did have sex with a plant and had a family of mutant Venus flytrap babies-"

"I likes one night, afternoon, evening, and morning stands, sue me!" He snapped.

"That's the thing Chris, they are suing."

"So what? Just go what we normally do when we get sued." Chris ordered.

"Yeah, that's where it's gets a little tricky."

Chris raised an eye brow at Chef. "What do you mean...tricky?"

Chef frown and crossed his arms. "You got them all pregnant."

"WHAT?!" Chris exclaimed jumping to his feet out of the hot tub.

Chef glance downwards. "Pretty surprising with that little thing-"

"The size of my dick is not any of your concern!"

"No wonder they only slept with you once-"

"What do you meant I got them all pregnant, how does that happen?!"

Chef cleared his throat. "Well Chris, when a pen-"

"Not helping!"

"Actually decent sex education might, because you wouldn't be in this situation in the first place if you had any!" The hat clad man scoffed. "Another reason why abstinence is a terrible way to teach about safe sex." Chef shook his head.

"Still doesn't change the fact I have to deal with...how many girls were on the show again?"

"I lost count."

"Well now what?" The host asked.

"Everyone's demanding you meet with the mothers and your bastard kids." He shrugged."Guess you got to pay child support."

Chris groaned. "Oh come on, They damn kids were already shot out of my junk, didn't I do enough for them already?"

"NO!"

"Okay, okay, I'll make the arrangements." He sighed putting a robe on and taking out his cellphone to call the pilot of his privet jet.

This was going to be a long journey.

And there you go! First chapter is done! I think I'll have him meet Sierra or Courtney first. Please review and fave


	2. Courtney and Henry

Chris sighed as he glanced out the air plane's window. He had a feeling he would fuck up and knock up some chick at some point in time...but every girl who has ever been on the show? That was taken things a little too far.

Why did the gods of karma hate him so?

He took out a list of every girl who has even been on the show, it ranged from the campers like Lindsay, Gwen and Jo to non campers like DJ's mom and Blaineley.

"I can't flicking believe this." Groaned Chef who unwillingly came. "The one time you can't keep your dick in your pants and you knock all these girls up." He shook his head disapprovingly. "How did you even get these girls to sleep with you?"

"What? You don't think I can seduce women on my own?"

"I don't even think you seduced that mutant flytrap on your own..." Chef grumbled as he flipped though a book. "So who are you seeing first?"

Chris shrugged. "Courtney I guess, might as well get the worst over with."

The host remembered his night with Courtney quite well. He was bored and horny since Larry wasn't around and Courtney was there.

"How did you even get someone like Courtney to have unprotected sex with you?" Asked Chef putting his book down.

"I used some of the old Chris charm to woo her." The black haired host mused a sly smile formed on his lips.

Chef clearly couldn't hold back the urge to frown and roll his eyes. "Really though, how?"

"...I can't really remember...All I remember was we have a few dozen drinks then we woke up in bed naked together." Chris explained sheepishly.

The cook face palmed.

Hours passed then the private jet landed at the air port. The two men left carrying there baggage then went to hail a taxi down.

"Courtney's going to kill you." Chef commented as yet another taxi zipped by Chris and through a puddle splashing water onto him.

The host frowned as Chef snickered lightly, Chris shot him a glare. "Why are you here?"

"To be loving and supportive."

"No, really."

"To mock you for the rest of your life got this..." Chef confessed as Chris rolled his eyes.

"Of course." He grumbled.

"What else we're expecting?" Chef scoffed.

"Not much from you really." Chris replied as he finally managed to hail down a cab. "Finally." He said sighing in relief.

The duo tossed there baggage into the cab's truck and soon enough they were well on there way to Courtney's.

"So, how pissed do you think Courtney will be to see you?"

"Come on, she's a mature woman, I'm sure we're be able to settle things like the mature adults we are."

XXX

A loud scream filled the humble sized home. It wasn't a new sound though, everyone who lived. In the house had gotten used to Courtney's raged filled screams.

"Fucking Chris!" She swore throwing a dart at a dart board which cleverly had a picture of Chris's face tapped on.

Oh to say she hated Chris was an understatement, she hated the air he breathed, she hated the ground he walked on, every time he blinked, there was not a thing about Chris that she liked.

Why?

She was foolish enough to indulged in a few drinks with him. It was the worst mistake of her life!

The hangover was terrible, she slept with Chris, had unprotected sex and when returned home she was pregnant.

She loved her son Henry, she loved him to pieces but she hated her god damned baby daddy!

She sent countless phones from herself, Lawyers and even her own parents to try to get in contact with the asshole!

Despite the undying love she had for her son there was never she would love more then to wrap her hands around his neck and strangle him.

She had to postpone college, COLLEGE! For her son. She dreamt of attending college at Yale or some other high class college since she was a child, but all that went down the drain.

The slender brunette set the darts aside and grabbed a bottle. She sighed and glanced at Henry who laid on a blanket on the floor. She was very much please her son looked more like her then Chris. He had the same skin, eyes, nose and everything else as Courtney aside from his messy tuff of black hair.

"Time for your bottle." Courtney said doing her best to sound cheery for Henry.

She place the bottle of formula in his mouth and he drank away. A knock on the door cause her eyes to shift. Odd, she wasn't expecting anyone...maybe her mom forgot her keys or something?

With Henry in her arms she walked up to the front door.

"Spare key is under the mat!" She called unable to open the door with her hands currently full at the moment.

As soon as the door open her eyes widen, first it was shock then to anger as she set her eyes on a man she knew all to well.

"You!" She spat as Chris smiled nervously.

"Hey...Courtney-"

"You son of a bitch! Do you have any idea what you done to me?!" The stern brunette snapped at the host.

Chris gulped and was about run for it be Chef grabbed ahold of Chris's shirt collar. "Yes, and that's why Chris is here, right Chris?" Chef grumbled glaring down at the shorter man.

"Yeah..." He said.

This still didn't sit well with the C.I.T, she wanted to murder this guy more then she wanted to go to college. She set Henry aside in his playpen then glares daggers at Chris.

"Do you know what you done to me?!" She howled again jabbing a finger at Chris's chest. "Any idea?! I'm not in college thanks to you and your biotic sperm?"

"It's not my fault your a freaking lightweight when it comes to drinking!" Chris reminded.

"So are you." Added Chef.

"Shut up!" The TV host ordered.

"What do you want? Haven't you ruin my life enough?" Courtney sneered.

"Chris is here to pay child support." Chef stated as Chris looked at him frowning.

"Chef, dammit I was hoping she forgot about that!"

Upon from hearing about the child support Courtney's eyes lit up in an instant in delight.

"Oh yeah!" She said out loud. "You do have to pay." She said in a sing song tone.

Chris furrowed his brow in frustration then reached into his pocket pulling out a check. "Here..." He grumbled as the young mother took the check happily, a smile on her face for the first time in a long time.

Then a little idea sparked in her head.

"Oh Chris, what about visitation rights?"

"Visitation what?" The black haired man repeated.

"You know, when you take care of you son, Henry." The mother reminded.

Chris had a disgusted look on his face. "What?! Me take care of a kid? I gave you the money isn't that enough? And why did you name our son Henry, it's a stupid name...Chris the Second is a better name."

"Weeeeeell I'll have to bring up visitations rights with my many lawyers...unless SOMEONE pays for my college." Courtney explained as Chris raised an eye brow.

"If I pay for your college I don't have to help take care of the kid?" He asked as Courtney nodded.

"Yup, a fair deal is it not?"

Chris looked deep in though for once then sighed.

"Fine, whatever keeps you off my back." He finally agreed writing another check and handing it off to Courtney.

She smiled even bigger as she looked at the large amount of zeros on the check then looked at Chris. "It was a pleasure doing business with you." Courtney mused happily.

XXX

With one girl off the list it only meant...whatever other amount was left, he couldn't remember them all. All he remembered was that there were a lot of them. Now back in his private jet with Chef he leaned back in his seat and went over the rather long list again.

"This is gonna be a long couple of weeks." He groaned.

And that's it, I think I'll do Sierra next. Read and review :D


	3. Sierra and Jodie

Third chapter, hope your all enjoying this fucked up tale!

Next up there we seeing Sierra, who could ever forget the crazy fangirl that stalked Cody for endless days on Total drama world tour? No one of course! And Chris sure couldn't, he managed to sleep with Sierra after all.

Chef glanced over at the list that Chris had.

"Sierra's next huh?"

"That's right." Chris replied.

"Okay I gotta know." Chef started adjusting his seat. "How did you get Sierra to have sex with you?"

"What? You don't think the Chris McLean charm works." The raven haired host demanded.

"I don't think it ever existed to begin with." The hat wearing man stated as Chris frown.

"Okay, okay, she was crying about Cody not loving her, so I offered to dress like him and let her do whatever she wanted to me if she would stop crying, it was pretty annoying listening to all that crying you know!" Chris snapped.

"You dressed like Cody?" Chef gawked. "How did you even get his clothes in your size?"

"Spandex Chef, Spandex can do wonders." Chris declared as Chef shivered at the mental picture of Chris in Spandex.

"Yup, I'm scarred for life."

XXX

"Moooooom!" Sierra whined pouting as her mother bottle fed her daughter Jodie.

Her mother pouted. "But it's my turn to feed Christina!"

"Her name is Jodie, it rhymes with Cody!" She reminded her mother.

"But we could call Christina, Chris for short, because Chris sounds like Chris!" Her mom argued.

"Her name is Jodie, Mom we been through this!" She yelled. "She's my daughter."

"But she's Chris's daughter too!" Her mother persisted. "I should had bore Chris's children first not you! You could had have had a little brother, or sister and Chris could had been your stepdad, but you ruin that for me!" She howled. "All my hopes and dreams are shattered because of you, my own daughter!"

Sierra frown and rolled her eyes, things had been anything but easy at her once she found out she was pregnant. At first she was over joyed at the very though of her lifelong dream of bearing Cody's children, college didn't matter to her, a job didn't matter all she needed to be happy in life was to have Cody's children.

But once she told Cody the news he said that they never once had sex together and this kid wasn't his. Once her daughter was born she gotten a DNA test to prove she was Cody's. Much to her disappointment Jodie wasn't Cody's, it was then she remembered she gotten Chris to cosplay as Cody and slept with him.

"How do you think I feel? I wanted to have Cody's children, Not Chris's!" She screamed in frustration.

She loved Jodie dearly , but she wished Cody was her dad, Not Chris. Oh well, that's why she could always write erotic fan fiction about them...speaking of which she really should start writing chapter twenty two of her fan fiction "The Erotic Adventures Of Cody And Sierra." She was also thinking about possibly looking into publishing it as a written novel.

"Fine, you can look after her." Her mom begrudgingly agreed handing Josie/Christina to Sierra. "But if her first words are Cody and not Chris your grounded young lady!" Her mother fumed as she walked out if the living room, most likely to work on her own erotic fan fiction of her and Chris.

Sierra sat down on the couch and bottle fed Jodie. Much to Sierra's dismay her daughter has Chris's hair and eyes, but she luckily had Sierra's facial features and skin.

She turned on the TV to a montage of Cody she made many copies of and always watched.

"Jodie, look it's your should had been daddy!" She exclaimed pointing to Cody.

But Jodie didn't give two shits, she just sucked away at the nipple of the bottle without caring about the gaped tooth dork on the TV.

A knock at the door cause Sierra to look away from the TV. She got up and went to the door with Jodie in her arms.

"Cody? Is that you?" She asked excitably with the though Cody finally accepted his destiny to help her raise Jodie, marry her and have many more children.

As soon as she open the door and saw the TV host instead all joy was drained from her. This guy ruin both hers and hers mother's dreams.

"Oh." She scoffed. "It's you."

"The best looking TV host in the world?" Chris stated as Chef bonked him in the head. "Ooooow!" Chris whined.

Sierra glared. "What do you want? Haven't you ruin my life enough?"

"Chris is just here too get some stuff settled-" Chef started.

"Settle? SETTLE?! I was suppose to bear Cody's children first!" She cried. "Now I stuck here Cody-less all because of you and your stupid Cody cosplay!"

"Okay, okay I'll just leave the child support check here and-" started Chris taking out a check.

"I DON'T CARE ABOUT CHILD SUPPORT!" The purple haired young mother wailed. "I WANTED TO HAVE CODY'S KIDS NOT YOURS!"

Soon enough both Sierra and Jodie were bawling. Chris covered his ears. He couldn't take this much longer.

"Okay, how about this if Cody ever donates his sperm your be the first to know?" Chef offered as Sierra and Jodie finally stopped crying.

"You can do that?" She asked as Chris lowered his hands from his ears.

"Sure, of course I can arrange that." He replied, finally pleased that Sierra and the baby finally stopped crying.

Sierra arched a brow. "Can you also get my book published once it's done?"

"If I never have to paid child support then sure." Chris agreed as Sierra smiled.

"It's a deal!"

Both Sierra and Chris shook hands, both looking pleasantly pleased with there agreement.

"Hey, mind if I use your bathroom?" The host asked. "I drank a lot of coffee on the way over here."

"Down the hall to your right." Sierra instructed.

"I'll wait in the jet." Chef said as he left.

Chris wandered down the halls but instead took a left rather then a right and entered Sierra's mom's room.

"OH MY GOSH!" Her mother hollered. "YOUR CHRIS MCLEAN!"

"That I am!" He greeted then though of something. "Hey, you want to have unprotected sex?"

Yeah...Chris will never learn and Sierra's gonna have one fucked up family tree. DX I may have crossed a line here... Also if there is a fanfic out there called "The Erotic Adventures Of Cody and Sierra" consider this free advertising. Seriously though...is there a fanfic called that? The total drama series has a lot of fics so you never know...

Also I'm not doing this in any order or writing the chapters based on my favourite girl on the show, this is 100% random. I might do Katie and Sadie next, maybe Staci since I got some good ideas for chapters.


	4. Katie and Sadie, plus Mina and Nina

Chapter four is here!

Chef flipped through many of the papers lawyers had faxed them. It mainly contained information about each young woman's pregnancy and how much Chris owed in child support. But perhaps the most shocking paper was the one about Katie and Sadie. Although all the women were basically pregnant around the sane time (Mainly weeks and months apart) the paper on Katie and Sadie was all too odd.

It stated there slept with Chris on the same day, time, and given birth on the same day and time as well. It seemed far too creepy to the cook, and he seen some fucked up shut during his time!

"So were seeing Katie and Sadie next?" Chef started trying to subtlety bring this up with the host.

"Yup, man THAT was a fun day with them." Chris chuckled remembering those fond memories with the two close friends.

"You do know your talking about Katie and Sadie right?"

Chris smirked as a flight attended served them a dinner of a thick juicy steak and glasses filled with champagne. "That's where your wrong Chef." He replied cutting his steak. "Remember Katie and Sadie do everything together."

"Yeah...and?"

"EVERYTHING, and I mean everything!"

Chef's eyes widen. "You don't mean-"

The host nodded. "Yup, a threesome."

XXX

Sadie combed her black locks if hair then buttoned up her pantsuit for work.

"I'm off to work sweetheart!" She called as Katie stepped into the living room and gave her wife a peck on the lips.

"I'll miss you." Katie hugged her beloved wife.

It seemed like a good idea at the time, they were the best if friends and they should do everything together! And then also included losing their virginity to Chris McLean... Not there best idea ever... After the recent discovery they became BPFFFL ( Best pregnant female friends for life) then soon wives, because why not? No man could treat them better then they could treat each other. They knew everything about each other, favourite singer, colour, animal, actor- hell they even knew each other cycles! And it all turned out for the better.

After Sadie had her daughter Nina, and Katie had her daughter Mina since Chris wasn't in the picture (And never would be) They relied on each other to help raise their daughters. Soon it blossom into a romance and they got married, Sadie being the smarter one of the two worked in advertising while Katie took care of Mina and Nina, at least that was the plan until the two girls were old enough for daycare then Katie planned to pursuit a career as a fashion designer.

"I'll miss you more." Sadie mused.

"No, I'll miss you more."

"No, I'll miss you more."

"No, I'll miss you more."

There little game was cut short when the door bell rung, shortly fallowed by the sound of their daughters crying from being awoken.

Katie let out a sigh. "And I just spend the night trying to get them to sleep." She moaned miserably.

"I'll get the door pumpkin, you get a head start on the girls." Sadie instructed as Katie oblige and went to care for the children.

Sadie open the door and her eyes widen in shock. "Chris?!" She exclaimed. "What are you doing here?!"

"What's with all the yelling?" Katie called after Sadie with Mina and Nina in her arms. Both baby girls looked a lot like their mothers. They only had Chris's eyes. Katie soon caught sight if the raven haired host.

"Oh my gosh it's you!" She gasped.

"You know anyone more good looking than me?" Chris asked as Katie, Chef and Sadie rolled their eyes.

"I could name a thousand people..." grumbled Chef.

"What are you doing here?" Asked Katie. "Is this like, one of those things that happen in those movies, where like some guy knocks up a woman, leaves her then sees her again to marry her?"

"Because if so, your too late!" Sadie flashed her wedding ring. "Me and Katie tied the knot."

"And Sadie's been a better parent to Mina then you ever been to her!" The slender young woman added.

"Samies with Katie and Nina."

Chris had a dumb stuck look on his face. "Okay first off, Mina and Nina? That sounds like an anime character-"

"Dance in the vampire bund?"

Every one stated at Chef who shrugged. "I'm into anime, big whoop. TV fucking sucks nowadays, plus my Sailor moon tuxedo mask cosplay outfit will be in soon..."

"Moving on, secondly you two got married? When did this happen?" Chris demanded.

"Weeeeell, Since we been brushed aside and only ever been on the show for one season we have plenty of time for ourselves." Sadie explained.

"Shouldn't be all that surprising, with like sooooo many people in this show at least a few of them would be Lgbtq+." Katie added as Mina and Nina cooed playfully.

"Like oh my gosh, I know right?" Sadie agreed.

"Like, totally." Katie muse.

Chris sighed and handed Sadie a check. She smiled and tried to take it but Chris kept a grime grip on the paper.

"Let go," she grumbled.

"No, I don't wanna!"

"Come on!" Sadie growled pulling harder.

"No wa-" Sadie pulled hard enough and took the check out of Chris's grip, as well as send his tumbling backwards from the force.

A sly smile spread across Katie and Sadie's faces,as they looked at the number of zeros on the check.

"It was a pleasure doing business with you." Katie giggled.

Chris pouted. "I like it better when they were dumb..."

And there we go! Also a bit of a rant as well.

I'm really annoyed with got like five seasons of total drama and had barely any Lgbtq+. Truthfully I feel the whole Noah and Cody kiss was queer baiting, and Owen's comments on Justin was just a joke... As a lesbian I'm pretty annoyed at this, and don't you dare give me any "BuT IT's A CarTOon SHOw" crap, Heather almost spelled the word Bitch. There are children younger then the total drama cast who are lgbtq+,and the show 6teen which had a lesbian character named Jean. And the creators of 6teen helped make total drama island (not sure about the other seasons though) I'm going with the new up coming season we see some Lgbtq+ rep.

Any way not sure who to do next, I'm thinking maybe Leshawna or Gwen? Any suggestions?


	5. Jo and Joseph

Woo next chapter! Next up is Jo! Finally a Tdroti girl!

A yawn escaped Chris's lips as he looked out the window of the plane to see it was early morning. Even being such a high class jet sleeping in the chairs were not all that cozy as they seemed to be.

The flight attended supplied him and chef with a pot of hot coffee, bacon, scrambled eggs and toast.

"Which one was next again?" Chef asked through a yawn.

Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and after taking a sip of coffee, he then spoke. "Jo, you know grey sweater, blue eyes, terrible makeup job?" he reminded. Chef nodded as the flight attended walked to him.

"Excuse me, Chef, your online order should be ready to be picked up when we land."

A happy grin appeared on the cook's face. "Finally, an amine convention is coming up." he explained to Chris, who couldn't give two shits about Chef's love of all things anime and manga related. "You should come and cosplay Sailor Moon with me, I have the sailor scout outfit already made and-"

"Can we just skip to the part while you ask me how I had sex with Jo?" Chris groaned.

The apron clad man frown in frustration. "Fine, how did you did it?" he huffed bitterly.

"Believe it or not she came on to me."

"Yeah, I don't believe it." The cook muttered as he read a newspaper.

"Actually it's true, apparently Jo heard sex is a great workout." The TV show host explained. "So she asked me because she didn't want Brick or any one else competing to benefit from from it as well."

Chef rolled his eyes. "Where did she get that idea?"

"Some website...that I made..." He confessed sheepishly.

Chef's hand soon met his forehead as he face palmed. "Dear god..." he groaned.

"Hey, anything on the Internet automatically becomes true you know!" he argued slamming fist onto there trays, causing the pot of hot coffee to spill on Chris. He let out a loud shriek of pain.

"Karma..." Chef grumbled flipping to the next page of the newspaper.

XXX

"Come on maggot!" Jo hollered, a silver stopwatch in her grip.

Set up on the living room floor were white lines painted to look like one of those meter dash courses. Running- or in this case crawling the course as Jo's son, Joseph.

It was only after Jo learned you should never trust anything on the Internet without asking for sources of the info (And if the website was called www. Reasons why you should sex with Chris ) that she learned sexual intercourse was not a work out routine.

So then she was pregnant and soon had Joseph. Despite some of the drawbacks on having a kid she learned there were some benefits after all.

One was she always had a weight to lift. Joseph was a pretty big baby when he was born...he weight about ten pounds once he was born. If she ever was stuck waiting in line for something she could use Joseph as a weight to lift.

The second benefit was whenever she took him out in his scroller, it gave Jo the chance to work on her cardio.

And lastly was she could coach him, like right now.

Joseph crawled within the white lines across the wooden floor. He bore Jo's blonde hair and blue eyes but has Chris's nose and jaw structure.

When her son finally passed the finishing mark Jo stopped the watch.

"Five seconds faster then last time, good job squirt." she commented picking him up. "That's mommy's little champ." she cooed happily.

Upon hearing knocking at the door the jock rushed over to it. Hopefully it was those custom made knee pads she ordered. Right now Jo was looking up ways to improv her son's speed and leg muscles. It's never too early to start after all!

She was less than please too see it was not the delivery person but Chris... In some sailor uniform and a blonde pig tailed wig... And to add to that Chef wore a black tuxedo and a white mask.

"What the hell?" were Jo's first words.

Sailor Chris rolled his eyes. "I spilled coffee on my last set of clean clothes, this was all Chef could offer me."

"Okay, but then why is Chef dressed up also?" she question.

"He said if I got to cosplay he would too..." he grumbled bitterly and gave Tuxedo Chef a quick glare.

Crossing her arms she frowned. "Well for whatever freaking reason your here can you leave? I got Brick coming over to help me train Joseph, and I'll never live it down if he sees you two dorks in my house."

"Train Joseph?" Chef repeated. "He's a baby!"

"And making good time on crawling mind you." Jo replied.

"Yeah, I'm just going to leave the child support check here and leave... this mini shirt is riding up, Christ how can college girls in that anime wear these?" Chris complained handing Jo a check.

The blonde woman smiled as she took the check. "Thank you, maybe I can enrol Joseph in some step classes once he learns to walk."

"Chris, those girls in the anime are like... thirteen-ish." Chef said with a shrug. "Maybe younger, I forget."

"WHAT?!"

Yup, I can see Jo being one of those over achiever moms, and yeah I haven't watched Sailor moon since I was a kid. I might get into the manga since I heard there's a lesbian couple in the series and I been searching for some manga with lesbian couples on it, All I got is "Kisses, sighs and cherry blossom pink", "Strawberry panic" and "Girl friends" series... Which is only like two books but still a great read.


	6. Anna-Maria and Georgie

Yeah next chapter, next up is Ann- Marie.

Chris flipped through a magazine, a frown formed on his face and his brow buckled as he then crumpled it up in rage. "I can't Believe this!" he complained. "Josh got more pages about him than me!" he huffed and tossed the magazine on the ground.

This spike Chef's curiosity as he picked up the magazine and unfolded it. "Your on the cover at least... for most hated man in the world."

"AGGH!" Chris groaned.

"Hey you brought this upon yourself, last time I've check Josh didn't sleep with multiple women... plus a mutant Venus flytrap, why would you even have sex with that thing anyway?'" Chef spoke.

"...I was bored and horny."

"As always," the cook huffed.

"Shut up!" snapped Chris as the flight attended cane up.

"Excuse me, Mr. McLean, we're be arriving soon." the short brunette informed.

"Thank you flight attended, maybe I'll give you a little "raise" next time." he said and waggled his eye brow in a suggesting manner

The flight attended giggled as a pink blush spread across her cheeks, she then left. Chef rolled his eyes disapprovingly.

"Do you even know her name?"

"Not at all!"

Chef face palm and swore under his breath. To distract himself from Chris's IQ being the same as a half cooked waffle, he turned his attention to where they were going.

"I heard theres a lot of beaches and bars around here." he commented.

"Makes sense if you think about it, we are seeing Anne-Maria,"

"Okay,"

"...Aren't you going to ask me how I slept with her?" Chris asked. Chef simply gave a shrug.

"She's a parody of Snooki,"

"Good point."

XXX

The sound of an infant crying filled the house. Anne-Maria eye brows buckled in frustration as she clutched her fist and glares at the crying baby boy. Motherhood was NOT her thing.

She promise herself she wouldn't get pregnant like her Jersey shore role model and icon, she would NEVER EVER be a mother and give up partying, drinking, more drinking, partying, drinking, more partying, partying some more and then of course drinking. But her carefree lifestyle shortly ended when she slept with Chris and gotten pregnant.

Anne-Maria figured if Snooki could do it so could she, boy was she wrong. First off it turns out you couldn't drink while pregnant. Like what the fuck? A few shots never hurt anyone, why a fetus? Clubbing was terrible, no one wanted to get down with a pregnant lady.

And labor was painful as fuck, miracles of life her ass, there was no miracles when your in painful labor for ten hours.

"I'm coming , I'm coming." Anne-Maria huffed heating up a bottle for her son Georgie.

Georgie continued to cry, much to her disappointment he certainty looked like a mini version of Chris. Once the bottle was finally heated up she took ahold of her son , and he started drinking the bottle.

A knock at the door cause Anne-Maria's eyes to light up, maybe one of those teen mom shows finally recognise her talent. The jersey shore loving woman gleefully open the door. The dorky grin on her face faded in a instant as she saw the TV show host.

"Awww crap, your not the producer of Teen mom." she moaned.

"Well not yet anyway." Chris informed.

"Just tell me why the hell your here?" she demanded.

"Just here to drop off child support-"

"Child support?" Anne-Maria repeated.

"It's a check and-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa whoa, a check? You mean cash right?!"

"Well... yeah." Chef said.

"So, could hire a sitter?" she asked.

"I don't see why not-" before Chef could finish talking Anne-Maria grabbed the check out of Chris's hand and shoved Georgie at him.

"See ya suckers! Partying here I come!"the party loving life style woman cheered dashing out of the house.

...

"She does know she has to actually call the sitter right?"

Meh it's been awhile. Truthfully I think Anne-Marie would be a pretty bad mom, maybe Chris isn't the worst parent in the world after all. *Shrug* Also anyone into The wolf among us? I am in fucking love with Bloody Mary.


End file.
